Friday, February 01, 2008


Am I too strange if I think music has a personality or a consciousness, if I feel that it can be hurt, insulted, or lonely? I guess I sort of think of the music I listen too as my lovers.
My first experience with music as an obsession started in sixth grade, with the Beatles. That's sort of like the first idyllic crush I ever had, the one that has stayed with me through the rest of my life. Then, there was the meaningless sex I had, just 'cause everyone else was doing it. That was Avril Lavigne mostly. Then, between seventh and eighth grade, I started to see the light. Someone who was different caught my eye. Someone who no one else seemed to notice, but who was incredibly sweet and was always there for me. That was Maria Mena. There were the flings that turned cold fast, but that I still like to revisit from time to time, like Katy Rose or Sixpence None the Richer. In ninth grade I was in one of the relationships that consumes you and your environment so that you feel that only you and one other person exist. That was Anna Nalick. In tenth grade I got an iPod and discovered indie music. Jump Little Children, Jupiter and Teardrop, Black Lab, Rilo Kiley, Death Cab for Cutie, I suppose tenth grade must have been when I discovered casual dating, the Podsafe Music Network being my default matchmaker (specifically Jon from the Tanfastic Podcast and Neil from the Podsafe Revolution).
In eleventh grade I got over my conscience and starting getting cd's from the library and downloading them. God, I'm a criminal. But in my defense? I did it for love. Naturally. This
year I discovered the Shins and got the new Barenaked Ladies album. Both have that quality of always being amazing, but also ageing well. The fact is, I don't always have time to listen to everything. In fact, I never have to time to listen to everything. So sometimes, I have to leave my music alone for a while. Some music, after I abandon it, loses its appeal. Avril Lavigne, Ashley Simpson, were both phases that I grew out of. But the Shins, when I didn't completely focus on them and then came back seemed to have gotten better. It's the kind of music you sing along to to forget about everything.
This year has been full. I found Dar Williams, who amazes me. When I was a Boy was the first song to make me cry. (Excepting that stupid christmas song about the boy who wants to buy shoes for his dying mom. That one gets me every time.) I also discovered Ingrid Michaelson. If Dar is an older man, someone who is mysterious, somehow feels perfect or god-like, Ingrid Michaelson is who I'm "going steady" with.
When I was 10? or so I loved the movie Goodbye Birdie. It's that concept of having a "steady boyfriend" that seems so 50's to me. That innocent closeness is what Ingrid and I have. I think she gave me her pin.

I can't wait to see who I meet next year, no matter how cheesy that sounds.

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